Big VS Small…

Now as soon as you brides-to-be get your minds out of the honeymoon suite, we can get to the real issue here…

I am of course talking size of wedding! Now sometimes this can be quite simple, your Prince Charming rescued you from a castle tower, where your evil stepmother was holding you ransom for the keys to the Kingdom, which is rightfully yours. He then throws you over his shoulder, or back, depending on upper body strength as he maneuvers his way carefully down the slippery castle wall, which is overlooking treacherous and stormy waters down below, which means sudden death with the first wrong step. But down below, a sail boat awaits, which is pulled by Felix, his magical sea horse, hey, this is my hypothetical situation, so yes, a magical seahorse then pulls them to the safety and seclusion of a tropical island where they are united as one, with only the seagulls and Felix as witness to their love… Sigh… But then again, when are things ever this easy?

Nope, in real life, our damsel in distress, Imogen, was doing the seating chart as Prince Eduardo was carting her to safety… Because even though she and her step mom were no longer on speaking terms, after the whole locking her in a tower for years, obviously, she really did enjoy the company of her step aunt Moira and her Uncle Joe, yes, everyone has an uncle Joe, really always is the life of any party… Because for us girls, it’s not just about who you choose to share the most beautiful day of your life with, it’s also just as important that the right people see you on your most beautiful…

You know what I’m talking about, even though you’re not 14 anymore and you’d like to believe your above such petty things, it still feels good to know that your “best friend” in high school, Amy, who used to call you fat and kiss your boyfriends behind your back, is now dating your second cousin, twice removed… and what is a wedding without good old Harvey, I mean Henry… I mean family is family. So of course she’s invited! And the fact that you’ve since lost the baby fat, chucked the Jelly shoes and realized oversized T-shirts saying “Move Or Die”, really only is for black rappers, you’re actually quite excited that she gets to see you on this, your most beautiful day!

But you know what I mean? How do you decide who gets to be invited?

Ok, let’s take my sister, she’s getting married in April, at this venue in Namibia…

Jip, it’s safe to say she won’t be doing the congo line with 200 guests… So she had to choose, venue of her dreams and 14, yes only 14 guests, or somewhere closer, more affordable with more guests. Her choice was simple she says, why invite 80-100 people, of which probably only 30 of those you actually really want there? So, she’s compromising. She’s decided to organize, with her best friends, an awesome weekend away for 18 of her closest girlfriends, to just bond and have the most fun ever! That way, they get to feel included, and she gets to have her dream wedding, plus all the gifts! Win/win!

Another aspect to consider when getting married at a venue that allows only a certain amount of people, like our venue that can accommodate only 60 max, and that’s going to be tight, is where DO you draw the line? When is it ok for friends to trump family? Who gets to decide how important it is that aunts and uncles get invited? I mean it’s not like you meet up once a week to go for coffee, but they are your dad’s brother or sister, and he is in fact paying for the wedding… So where does that leave you?

My fiancé, Quentin aka John Dough, and I decided that if we have 60 spots, we’ll keep it simple, he gets to invite 29, and I get to invite 29, and we’re not allowed to judge or comment on the other person’s choices, although I think we both secretively took a peek and thought, really, her? But so it goes. Like life and a marriage, the wedding has to be a partnership, and each person has to feel that they have room to maneuver and make their own choices, even if you don’t get how he can actually give up one of the sacred 58 spots to Jake, his friend who constantly looks stoned, and who thinks “your mama” jokes are hilarious and insists on telling them whenever he has an audience…

I guess I think the most important thing to remember is, you’re getting married! To the love of your life. So as long as he shows up, and you have your closest people there, yes, the ones who actually call you to check up on the wedding progress and who goes dress shopping with you and who gets that cream and off white are definitely not the same color, your day WILL be special. And if the remaining spots are people you never would’ve missed, just think – More gifts!